The Halucinations

I'm walking on the road, it's raining heavily, drops the size of
grapes falling on my body, hitting me like bullets.
There is darkness
everywhere, the only thing visible is the swinging beam of the
Light-house in the distance Pointing to the sea.
That's my destination, the
Light-house.
I hurry through the rain, the metaled road slipping
under my sneakers.
I'm not afraid,
I'm definitely not afraid.
Why should I be? It was the best thing I could do, locking the room from
outside while the others choked in the toxic gas.

The beam completes a full circle and dazzles my eyes.
The night turns golden yellow. Almost day-like.
Suddenly there is a shrill cry, piercing the stillness of the night. With that, strange noises start
filling the air around me.
Thick, gurgling sounds, sticking to my eardrums like hot molten wax.
I cover my head with the cape I'm wearing, but the noises don't stop. Instead they rise in intensity.
I feel something touching my feet.
Looking down, I find big lumps of
earth forming out from the road, rising in grotesque shape of a hand.
The hand gropes for a moment about my feet trying to pull me down and
suddenly, with a brutal force, snatches at the cape . Exposing me from
its cover to the blinding glaze of the light-house.
I squint my eyes,
and there, In the orange-yellow sky, I see the portal to the world I came from.

And I make the Jump.

These Halucinations -I tell you- will someday Kill me.

What keeps me up at night.....

The first time I looked at you

I wasn’t sure what to think.

But I got my answer

When I saw you judge me

Before you even knew my name.

Used me when you felt like it.

Because you were a friend I let you do it.

You think it doesn’t hurt me now?

Whenever I think of all the times

You rejected me ‘cause I didn’t fit?

But then time passed,

And I made myself to be the girl everyone wanted.

So I don’t know if you’re true

Because even you couldn’t resist

The pull of my magnet.

Make me believe you love me,

But still not give a f**k.

And I can’t do shit about it

‘Cause I gave you my heart

And now I’m stuck.

It hurts worse now.

‘Cause it’s like you’re obligated to stay.

And our promises didn’t matter;

How much I broke before you,

You still didn’t show you cared.

They say seeing is believing.

And all you do is showcase.

But not to me, to the world;

Even though it’s me

Who’s supposed to know you’re there.

And everyone thinks you’re perfect.

Hell, even I do so.

You’re like sunshine,

Good compassion;

But the sun has never been my home.

Either I don’t fall at all,

Or I fall so hard I don’t feel all else.

And that’s what I did,

I kept falling hard,

Even though I was only hurting myself.

We both knew this wasn’t forever.

Let’s face it, that doesn’t happen.

‘Cause I’m too f**ked up,

And now I’ve tainted you,

Though I wish we could just go back.

Back to the first time you looked at me,

When I wasn’t sure what to think.

And I wish I would’ve ended us,            

Before I found out

That you rejected me before you even knew my name.

~roy

The colors she didn't love anymore

The promising red color doesn’t amuse her.
It reminds her of the love she never had
It reminds her of the vermilion which never lasted and took only some months to fade away
The lively green fails to inject the essence of life in her
It infuses envy towards the blissful soul
It reminds her of the shattered bangles
The cheerful purple does not bring a smile to her face
Now it reminds her of the withered flower in the book she long stopped reading
It reminds her of the lonely hues before the darkest night ‘
The enigmatic yellow does not create vigor anymore
It has ceased to give the warmth it promises
It has faded to be the unaided walls of the desolated room
The Tranquil blue does not part its peace anymore
Its Filled with turmoil , chaos and tumult
Its changed to poison creating confusion
All is left is black and white
the darkest of days, the shimmery nights

the white reflecting all the shades
and the black engulfing all.
-Roy

My Mistake

So here was my mistake,

You took my hand and promised me
you will break me everyday.
But I saw the way you looked at me,
I had my little faith.
You crushed me to your chest one day
And on the other, you crushed me to pieces.

Part by part you tore me apart
Until I was shredded to little chunks
of what looked like my broken heart.

You punished me so hard, for what?
For loving you insanely?

I guess I should have paid attention to those deafening screams of my wounded heart.
Only if I didn't believe in what looked like utmost love in your eyes,
I could have been getting a sound sleep every night.

And no darling I won't love a wrong, not again.
Cause eyes can lie, I know now.
And faith can lose it's faith in love just because I ignored the flaws
And called it "home"
When I knew it was a pothole of misery, griefs and false hopes.

-Roy